Spring Forward

Yesssssssss! Welcome to my favorite time of the year – DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME! I know many of you do NOT share this much enthusiasm with me lol but nonetheless, you guys should've learned by now to adjust. But yes, Dolls and Gents, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE when time 'Springs Forward'. Of course, perhaps you might be thinking it's just an hour extra of daytime but to me it's so much more. Granted the fact that during the segment when time 'Falls Backward' and it's already dark by 6pm – which is crazy – I look forward to more Sun time (Merbabe) with night falling closer to 8pm and I just honestly feel like I get more done during this time because let's keep it real (for some of us), once we see darkness, we think work time is over – yes we have to do better but still lol you understand. 

 I've had writer's block for about a month now and I was trying desperately to keep up with my blogging but being uninspired and quite busy at the same time – ALL Praise be to God – things just weren't coming together. I honestly woke up this morning not even noticing the time had change as I stated earlier, I'm just so adjusted to expecting it too plus my body has thing where it ALWAYS wakes up at 6am sharp (but again it's been programmed into doing so from high school days). With all that being said, I said to myself, I need to blog but what am I going to write about? These past few weeks have been emotionally and spiritually challenging for me and I felt so overwhelmed that many things I had plan to accomplish during such time was put on the back burner as I couldn't function to properly execute them. Then I asked myself another question after 'what am I going to blog about', I said 'Krizia, you've got to push forward, you've got to get through this' and ah, there – Spring Forward. 

How Are You Planning to SPRING FORWARD? 

Are you currently in a funk as I am? Nothing intentional, life just at times throws us lemons and we're not really in the mood for making lemonade, or perhaps just don't have the energy to do so at the moment. Yea, I know – it threw me some lemons and I was just like 'sigh, leave them on the floor, I'm tired right now.' It happens, DO NOT beat yourself up about it! We ALL go through Seasons of being uninspired and feeling broken. Brokenness is a beautiful thing though if we understand its necessity at times. But the question is, how are you going to get from said state to the next? Do you know what's got you there in the first place – what's troubling your spirit? How are you planning to PUSH through it until you've reached that breakthrough that's on the other side? And trust me, there's a breakthrough there otherwise you wouldn't be going through the valley in the first place. 

I have a few daily routines I do to help me make it through the day, especially through the ones that are more difficult than others. I'll gladly share them with you in hopes that it brings you some comfort as well. 

• First thing I do when I wake up EVERY Morning is say, 'Thank You Lord.' - it might sound like something simple but believe me, it's well deserved and it instantly brightens my day. 
• Immediately following that, without getting out of bed or anything, I listen to Denzel Washington's 'Fall Forward' speech. There's a short put together version, all of 6 or so minutes on Youtube (will post the link below) that helps me so much throughout the day as it plays in my head constantly. I usually follow up with some TD Jakes or other Motivational Speaker. 
• During some time in the middle of the day, I get up from my desk and stretch, just to work the kinks out – again, nothing major but it helps. 
• I drink LOTS of water – haha please don't judge me with this one but we all know the healthy benefits plus it just makes me feel refreshed and clears my head a little. 
• And lastly, before I go to bed, another Thank You to God doesn't hurt at all plus I finish off with The Golden Girls. A little comedy is always good for the soul. Find something that you laugh to over and over again and fall asleep to that. I sleep well, believe me. 

Now those are just a few simple daily things I do to set a positive attitude for the work day but that in itself is not my total solution for pushing through those rough patches in life. Truth is, I'm still pushing through so I can only advise you on how I'm getting through thus far and those do really help. I may not even be able to direct you on how to get through those rough patches but I will share with you my plans to Spring Forward and make it through my breakthrough with hopes that it can and will encourage you to hold on a little longer and push just a little harder. 

I'm Going Over – Here's How. 

I'll admit, I'm a little weak at times as we all are during vulnerable moments but in all honesty, I play victim too much. I've got to stop that. I create storms and get mad when it starts raining. If that's you as well, we HAVE to get it together boo. That's not cool at all and it causes others around us to handle us differently and when we're finally out of our 'moods' then we become depressed because no one wants to deal with the person always causing problems or looking for attention. Moving forward, I've got to be able to take what I give and if I know within myself I cannot handle something or someone responding to me in the same manner, then perhaps I should not do so in the first place. P.s. that's plan number one. 

Number two, I have to really and I mean really accept the fact that no matter how hard I try to force something, if it's not for me or my time, it's just not for me or not my time – yet. Just like Seasons, everything has its time and the same way I can't force Summer to last forever or Spring to come fast, I can't make my blessings fall in my lap because I believe I'm ready to receive it – that's mad disrespectful to God to be honest. Please, DO NOT watch others around you and envy them because it seems as everything is coming together so quickly for them and here you are constantly putting in the work and it feels like you're being overlooked. Continue to put in the work, in DUE Season what's for you WILL come to you. I've learnt this before and a bit ashamed to say I clearly have forgotten but at least I'm admitting it and acknowledging that going forth, I have to be a little more patient and understanding. EVERYTHING in it's right time. If we can remember that, the pressing and the testing won't be so painful because we would understand, it'll all be over soon and WORTH IT. 

Last but definitely not least, if I'm going to do anything, I have to do it with sincerity. Truthfully, what's the point of doing something if it means nothing to you? Are you really pushing because you want it or are you pushing for it because others have it? And if that's the case, if and when you do get it, what's the value of it to you – nothing, right? This one sort of ties into the second point but differs a bit as well. Are you working towards YOUR goals or others? Are you doing it to prove something to your family members, friends, 'enemies' or is it something you're sincerely passionate about? If you answer any of those questions truthfully to yourself then you will understand the brokenness – and this is where it differs. Every brokenness isn't the same. I'm being broken because I'm pushing for something I desire so much that I need to be purified before I can receive it. Are you being broken for purification as well or is the universe telling you 'hey, take this time to figure out what you really want; get it together in this process and then you can go to the next side.' Going forth now I understand my brokenness and therefore even though it hurts, I flourish in it. I'll keep pushing towards my goals whiles being purified and positioning myself to be ready to receive it with sincerity. 

Again, I can only tell you my plans on how I'm going over and what I've got to do to get there. I've got to stop crying wolf and expecting a rescue when things actually do fall apart. I've got to stop looking at others and being envious – if I'm honest with myself – because one, I do not know how hard they worked for it and two, when it's my time, things will fall into place. And finally, I've got to ensure that everything I'm doing is because I sincerely want to do it and understand that through adversities, we learn who we really are and what we really aspire to achieve/become. It doesn't rain forever – just have to hold on a little longer, and dance in the rain whiles waiting for the sun to shine again. And maybe, just maybe take life's lemons and make some lemonade – with a splash of Vodka haha (Gin for me). 

Chin Ups Loves and Spring Forward! 

Love Always, 

Akrizia 'MaryAntonique' Smith 

11th March, 2018
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egqvO6BM-78

For The Love of Tradition...or Traditional Love?

'There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.' - George Sand  

Ladies and Gents it's about that time again – Valentine's Day! The day set aside particularly to show love and appreciation to that special significant other or even friends and family for some; the day of Love. Let's talk. How are you spending said special day? Super excited? Not so much? Or somewhat like me, no big deal? 

Well I for one, as you may know [if you've been reading my latest blogs] am single so I'm not really excited as some may be. Truthfully, I've never really been a fan of Valentine's Day but then again, there are several other holidays/special days that I do not celebrate so it's not being solely singled out here. However, I will share one particular experience that was oh so amazing and forever memorable...and then we will address the topic at hand. 

Flashback to Valentine's Day 2015... 

2015 was a pretty good year for me. Needless to say, yes, I was STILL single back then too haha. My best friend and I was feeling somewhat left out of the whole 'Love Day' thing and thought to ourselves, we don't need to be in love with someone to celebrate the day, hence we decided to treat ourselves; treat indeed it was! Fifty Shades of Grey had recently been released and we were both eagerly anticipating watching it...so we did just that - treated ourselves to a girl's day and enjoyed that sinfully delicious movie. I mean SINFULLY Delicious – but let's not expose the freak....yet. After having such a wonderful time at the movie, we continued the party at lunch/dinner.  

We settled in at a nice little restaurant 'Under the Dock' [a spot famous in Nassau for its various food booths/restaurants]. Let me tell you how incredibly scrumptious the food was as I remember it all in detail; mouth salivating now for a taste. I ordered a nice big plate of crab 'n' rice, fried snapper which was seasoned to perfection, baked macaroni and potato salad – truly a Bahamian classic right there! I really wish I can remember the restaurant's name so you too can go on down and totally enjoy yourself. Unfortunately, I cannot but I will say, there are many great ones out there. Sampled food from quite a few and always enjoyed it. Moving along...so yes, we enjoyed ourselves very much that day, of course cocktails were included. The night ended beautifully and it made me think – does one really have to be romantically involved with someone to take part in and enjoy the festivities of 'Love Day'? Why do we tend to exclude single people out of Valentine's Day or look down on them for being alone particularly on that day? [p.s. being alone doesn't necessarily mean being lonely but that's another topic for another time] Do we celebrate out of the love of tradition or for genuine love and if so, why isn't everyone included? 

For the Love of Tradition...or Traditional Love? 

Now some may beg to differ with me and that's totally fine. It's one of the many beautiful things about life, we're all entitled to our own opinions. I believe we've all at one point or another, or perhaps still do celebrate or do things simply out of tradition; make it the norm and that's fine in a way and somewhat understandable since we are taught many of the things we do know now. And this is where my question becomes relevant: is it genuine love we show that day or more of, 'damn I have to buy him/her something for Valentine because they will be mad at me if I don't especially if everyone else is getting something?' Does it hold a significant meaning to you? I would really love to know p.s. you can share your thoughts/comments below or on the facebook page – @Akrizia.  

I know many people who do things simply out of tradition with no understanding of its purpose or meaning. Which is one of the reasons as stated earlier, there are several holidays I particularly do not celebrate after learning of its origin and true meaning. Again, I'm not singling out Valentine's Day as one of them for any particular reason, I personally just have never been a fan even when I would be dating, my partner would always know the day serves no purpose to me – just a personal preference, don't think about it too much okay?. I'm weird....a little haha. 

That's not true, let me be honest. I won't omit that out of this read because I once really felt that way and slightly sort of still do but I do think it's deeper than that now that I'm really thinking about it. Yes, I still do somethings out of tradition but as time goes on and I grow, I'm breaking many of those traditions because...

1. They were taught to me and back then you did what you were told with no idea of why (in black homes you NEVER ask why...another silly tradition that sincerely needs to be done away with) and 
2. Knowledge is power; when you KNOW better, you DO better.

With that being said, I think I never really cared for the day simply because I thought it was silly having one day set aside to show love to someone. I always felt if I showed it to you for 364 [365 leap year] solid days, I'm so not upping the antics to be 'extra' on one day. I'm sorry, but I just can't. Never done it and if you're looking forward to dating me, I will tell you now, never will. Hahahahahahahahaha 'oh no she didn't just say that!' - Yes my loves, I did. So what about other holidays you ask? Did I not just say I don't celebrate them either? It's quite a lot of them to be honest, my family knows...if you'd like to know as well which ones and why, feel free to ask...again you can comment below or via facebook. 

I believe that with time in an evolving world, everything becomes so commercialized and the feelings and genuine meanings are being ripped away from these 'special' days/holidays, leaving them as just mere optional days to capitalize on. It's sickening to say the least. Some of the 'histories'/stories of some holidays aren't even true...just sugar coated and presented beautifully packaged to you so you fall prey to their tactics of making you spend, spend, spend, but again, another topic for another day. However, the history behind Valentine's Day is quite interesting and though it goes deep, if you do care to look into it, I can understand the authentic love being shown so for that reason I do not knock anyone who does celebrate it. 

I close by asking you one more time, do you celebrate Valentine's Day for the love of tradition, because it's what everyone else does or does it really hold meaning to you? And if it's true purpose is to show love, why isn't everyone included? Can friends be each other's Valentine to show how much they love each other? What about fathers and daughters? Is it ok for fathers to shower their daughters with gifts and so forth on that day to show them how much they love them?  

If you're going to do anything in life, let it be meaningful, never out of 'tradition' or fear of disappointing someone because of their expectations: do it with thought and with purpose. I love the idea of the day itself, that won't change where I personally stand on it but nonetheless it's beautiful. So, if you're going to honor it, let it be Beautiful! 

Happy Pre-Valentine's Day Loves...do enjoy! 

Love Always,

Akrizia 'MaryAntonique' Smith 

9th February, 2018 

You're Almost 30! When Are You Going To Get Married???

I usually start off with some catchy quote that flows into my writing but I don't have one or correction, chose not to think of one. I'd like to just jump right into this.  

It's true, I'm knocking on 29's door soon enough, all praise be to God and I can honestly say if not for other women, then for myself, it's beyond annoying hearing those words, 'You're Almost 30! When Are You Going To Get Married???' I truly never knew there was a certain cut-off age to get married – or so many would like to make one think. I mean growing up yes, I've had examples of young people getting married – I mean my grandmother was married at the age of 20 and my mother (real talk I don't know exactly LOL), but it was definitely before 30. However, I was never taught that it was a Must-Do. My mother always just wanted me to be happy. 

Now I will admit I did have somewhat of an idea of the age I would've preferred to be married and that was 25. Why? I honestly do not know but I thought it was an ideal age...not too young but quote unquote not too old either. I actually made a deal with God *big laughter, as if one can make deals with God* but no, for real, I did, well mentally anyways. I would always tell Him I would like to be married by 25 and if I am, then marriage and family would become my life. The other part of the deal was, if I'm not married by 25, then my work and ambitions would become my life and marriage and children would just have to wait until I'm where I want to be, career-wise. I know, I did say big laughter lol you don't have to laugh too but it did seem like a fair deal. 

Anyways... 

So yea, at 18 I barely was allowed to date. The 20's rolled in and everyone still wants you to stay focused on work and no rush for relationships or children. 24 hits and dad wants to know when am I bringing home someone for him to meet (bear in mind of course I am dating, but I don't introduce people to my family so quick). And then the rest of the 20's keep flowing and it's no longer about finding someone, the questions direct to having children *roll eyes* - with whom if I'm single, not even dating like C'MON! Now 28 and the age-old annoying, irrelevant to what's really going on in my life question keeps popping up and I want to blow a fuse! 

I'm currently single and I enjoy saying that. I'm doing exactly what my 'deal' haha stated and I'm amazed at the leaps and bounds I've made thus far. With that being said, no it does not mean I do not want a relationship, marriage or children. It simply means my focus have shifted to not being so concern with who I'm with but more of who I am and who I'm becoming. Before I can be good or of use to anyone, I must first be good to me. 

I never loved myself before so yes, I've kissed a few frogs in the past hoping they would turn into Prince Charming, knowing they wouldn't but being insecure and full of self-hate, accepting them anyways. I am no longer that girl. I'm no longer that woman. I've grown, miraculously I will say, and I am no longer willing to accept mediocre love just to say I have someone or push for marriage because the world thinks I'm passing said appropriate age. Don't get me wrong, I am indeed open to dating of course. But unlike before, I will not continue on with someone when I see the red flags blatantly waving in my face. I admire young couples getting married; it's adorable but different strokes for different folks. 

I'm not against marriage at all. I love it, I respect it and I believe in the sanctity of it BUT I'm not about to rush into it just to accommodate everyone else's feelings simply because I'm 'Almost 30'. Marriage doesn't have an expiration date, well not to my knowledge and let's not get Biblical here because some of you would've broken said vows and the sanctity of marriage way before you actually got married BUT, I do not live in pettyville (just saying). 

When I get married, I want the 'forever thing'. I know, I know, many say it too BUT I mean it. I do not believe in divorce amoungst many other things. Marriage, like any relationship is a responsibility. For some it can be a liability, others an asset but either way, you must be held accountable for your part. I don't want to rush into a sinking ship. Let me explain whiles I wrap this up – many marriages fail because so many are ill-prepared for the work that goes into it. Let's take commitment for one, I cannot speak on marriage although next to financial reasons, commitment is one of the leading reasons why the divorce rate is so high but anyways – many are afraid of the thought of being with one person forever. If that's you, take a little more time for yourself. I for one am not that person and I'm not just saying that either, I've always felt that way. But after failed relationships because of lack of commitment on their end, I do not want to be the only one feeling that way. I want someone who's certain they want to be with me and love me forever despite our ups and downs. 

And then you have another major deal-breaker, financial problems. I've seen and known many who go into marriages broke. To me, that makes absolutely, positively no (excuse my language) gawddamn sense! Yes, we're marrying for love and all that good stuff but let's just keep it real folks, if you yourself are not financially stable, how do you really see it all playing out? I am so for the 'build together' thing but honey, chal please!!! If YOU cannot or do not have means to sustain YOUR OWN SELF, please leave the people 'dem chirren alone – yes, I had to use my Bahamian colloquial terms in there because I know, around the world or not, you guys will understand. Marriage isn't a 50/50 thing. It's 100/100. All of you and all of me – no cliché song just stating facts. 

I'll touch another point briefly because again as stated, past relationships have shown me this problem and I'm so not here for it! As a woman, I want to be respected as your partner and confidant, NOT as your servant! Again, if you want to get Biblical, you can but we will go back and forth all day and the only point I'm trying to bring across is that just like you, I am human. I want to be respected as a human-being NOT just the level you think I should be respected as a 'woman'. Many marriages fail because of this or causes infidelity because the other partner, let's just say for the sake of my point women go looking for the love and respect from other men that they're not getting at home. I for one am so against infidelity on any level so I do not agree with their decisions but I do somewhat understand. Before I put myself in a position to be belittled or looked at as less than because I am a woman, I'd rather just be alone. And no, it's not easier said than done. Actually, it's that simple. 

I would love to get married someday and look into the face of the soul I'd be spending the rest of my life with, raising my children with, standing before my God with and taking our sacred vows – that'd be beautiful and I pray that it's in my future. His plans however are greater than mines so I can only trust in Him and His timing. Until then, 30 or not, I'm Gucci babes...life's good and I'm just rolling with the punches! 

Love Always, 

Akrizia 'MaryAntonique' Smith  
11th January, 2018